Loneliness can affect everyone regardless of social standing, age or gender. You can’t buy a cure for loneliness and you can’t ignore it, like anxiety or depression.
Some would argue that the way to stop feeling lonely would be to surround yourself with other people. But this doesn’t work, because you can still feel lonely even in a crowded room.
Other would then say to go out and find a relationship. But there are problems with this as well.
So what is causing us to feel so lonely? What’s keeping you down?
Most people try to define loneliness as the absence of friends. however this could not be farther from the truth.
Isolation is when you don’t have friends, Loneliness is when you aren’t forming personal connections.
You can have hundreds of friends on facebook or any other social media, but you fail to truly bond with any of them. You try and try to be social but nobody really understands you.
As a result you usually end up feeling Empty and Unhappy. Because most of your conversations rarely go past a bit of small talk it robs you of being able to form any kind of real connection at all.
It is through these deep personal connections that we are able to shake off the ever looming shackles of the deep and engulfing feeling of loneliness.
Quality over quantity
When it comes to combating loneliness quality matters way more than quantity. One of the reasons as to why your feeling lonely might be that the friendships you have formed are either weak or unstable.
Either you haven’t put forth the time and effort to stabilize them or you simply have chosen the wrong people to befriend.
Everyone needs stable friendships.
The good friend, the stable friend will always be there for you no matter what. They make us feel Heard, Appreciated and Valuable.
They are there to celebrate with you when something good happens in your life, and they are there for you when things are at there worst.
Life can be hard and difficult to say the very least. And having that special friend there with you, to help you through can make all the difference in the world.
So if you are starting to feel lonely, take an honest look at your friendships. Stable friends respect each other, provide support and build each other up.
They give each other space and understand that they are there own unique individual.
Unstable friends don’t respect you. They are unappreciative of your time and think that the friendship only revolves around them. They ignore and criticize you at every possible turn because that’s just how they are.
Get what you give
Whenever you find that your relationship or friendship with someone is going down hill just remember that you get out of the relationship what you put into it.
If you think that the reason that your friendship is growing distant and cold, step up and make an effort to reconnect with that person.
More times than not the other person will reciprocate the same feeling and you will be able to strengthen the bond between you two.
However if you do nothing, then dont expect anything to change. When it comes to nurturing and maintaining relationships you reap what you sow.
Loneliness isn’t always triggered by you friendships, sometimes its a product of who you are.
When it comes to figuring out someone’s personality we try and place them into one of two categories, Introverts and Extroverts.
Despite how complex we as individuals can be we make the mistake of treating it like a yes or no question.
Are you an Introvert?
Then your an Extrovert right?
When in reality this is a flawed system. Introversion and Extroversion are actually measured on a scale. On the far left of the scale you have Introversion, on the far right you have Extroversion.
Most people usually fall somewhere in the middle of the scale these people are called Ambiverts.
A cool little analogy would be to look at the light spectrum, in this case ROYGBIV, and ask the same question. Are you Red? No, Then you must be Violet, right?
99.9 percent of people are Ambiverts. While most of us either lean more towards one side of the spectrum or another, at the end of the day we still have tendencies for the other side.
So lets say that you identify as an extrovert. You love being around other people and socializing. But you can still be lonely or even depressed because you are ignoring your introverted tendencies and wants.
We enjoy being social but to maintain good mental health it is also good to shut down every now and again to get in some quality ME TIME.
While being social is all well and good, we as individuals need time to relax our social muscles and focus on ourselves so we don’t lose ourselves in the world around us.
And if you identify as an Introvert then the opposite is true. Pull your self away from your comfort space, whether it be a book, your computer or your room. Go out with a friend or a family member for an evening and have dinner or watch a movie with them. Just remember, No man is an island unto himself, and it can make all the difference in the world.
Whether your a social butterfly, or more of a lone wolf type it is important to diversify your habits every now and again.
Well I was going to write more but this is already an incredibly long post, so consider this part one of a two part subject.
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